my baby girl lies in my bed. I'm grateful she is home with me tonight, normally she is with her dad on these nights. my son is with him, we decided to each have a solo night with one kid, to give them the time they need with us.


i think about the way they always have to say goodbye to one of us. that they will almost never have us together anymore. maybe one day we will get to a place where it's easier to do that but right now it is not, right now this is how it has to be, and therefore right now they need to always say goodbye, 

I'm happy that my relationship is over. it needed to be over, and really it never should have been. I've learned that now. 

But i long for a family that is my sanctuary. i long for a family that eases my heart on days it feels pain. i don't know what the arms of a true loved one feel like. I've never had it, not in the way i know to be true and pure. 

i believe in the power of solitude and i also know that loneliness hurts and the hurt sometimes overwhelms us. 

Taryn Longo